Snapshots
by Gingersnap630
Summary: This is a collection of oneshots concerning Babs durring season 1 and the following couple of years in Young Justice. Most will be exploring Babs and Wally's friendship! I suck at summeries ok. Please Jusr R&R!
1. Not Always Batgirl

**AN: Well...uh...yeah... First story I've done involving super heros in a while... Well here it is. I've always been interested in Babs and Wally's relationship. I mean they might not even know each other but they both know Dick so maybe...And they're both gingers so you knwo destany and all...**

**Disclaimer: Yeah yeah we know I'm poor and own nothing. I get it.  
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Batgirl is always strong. Batgirl is never afraid. Batgirl is always witty, and fierce, and unbeatable. Batgirl has never cried over some stupid boy who was dumb enough to stand her up. She knows he's cheating himself out of the best girl he'll ever have.

Unfortunately for me, I'm not always Batgirl. Sometimes I'm Barbara Gordon. The girl who isn't strong. The girl who's always afraid. The girl who stumbles over her words, and backs down, and gives up. The girl who cried and cried when she was stood up by one of her oldest, dearest friends. The girl who is sitting on a swing in one of Gotham's parks on a miserable fall afternoon all alone. The girl who has no one to hold her while she cries her eyes out over that boy for the hundredth time. The girl with no one tell her that everything's going to be ok.

I had been sitting on the swing for what seemed like ages when I heard someone talk to me.

"You ok, Babs?" I looked up to see a worried Wally West. I smiled sadly and shook my head. He walked up behind me and started to gently push me on the swing.

"Wanna talk about it?" he asked. I nodded slightly.

"Its just- I feel so... I don't know." I said, struggling for words.

"You miss him," he stated. I looked behind me to see his face. He wore a solemn expression.

"I really do," I said, as I felt myself starting to cry again. He stopped pushing me and walked around to stand in front of me. He knelt down and took my hands in his. I slid off the swing into his lap. I curled up in his arms like a child and let the tears flow freely.

"He's on a date with her, isn't he? Is she really that much better than I am?" I asked, looking up at him.

"She is in no way better than you. You're better than she is. Heck, you're better than both of them," he soothed. He began rocking us back and forth. I started to sob again.

"Tell me about it," he said resting his head on mine. I couldn't help but chuckle a little.

"You probably know the story better than I do," I retorted. And it was true. Wally and I had met years ago through Dick and later bonded through our jobs as heroes. Lately Wally had been at my side more than his own girlfriend's.

It was almost a year and a half ago when I'd first called him. Dick had stood me up. He had said he would take me out for a congratulations if I did well in my gymnastics meet. I got the gold. Dick never showed.

I had called Wally sobbing. He held me as I cried. As I told him everything. As I let go of all the frustration and sadness I'd been feeling. As I for the first time in my life let somebody else take care of me, somebody who was in that moment stronger and wiser than myself. Since that day I had called him whenever I was upset.

"He- he's been ignoring me. Again. It's like he doesn't even care about me anymore. We haven't seen each other as civilians in so long. And he's barely ever patrolling Gotham these days. And he's always too busy texting her during school to notice me. She's just 'oh so magical. She makes me feel like I'm flying.' I just keep remembering when I used to make him feel like he was flying. Hell, I thought we were both flying. Turns out I was falling and he didn't even bother to pick up the pieces when I finally hit the ground. Is it bad that even after everything, I still love him?" I said. Tears choked my voice by the time I finished. Wally's grip tightened on me as his muscles tensed from restrained anger. He hated to see me this much of a wreck.

"He doesn't deserve you. You know that," he said.

"Why can't we go back to the old days? I miss the old Dick. The Dick that was my best friend, who had my back in everything and always got my jokes. What happened to him? I want him back. I- need him," I murmured, looking off into space. Wally rubbed my back in comforting circles. I relaxed in his arms. We sat in silence for a while, just enjoying each other's company.

Our momentary comfort was broken by the vibration of Wally's phone. He looked to see the caller ID; it was Artemis. He smiled slightly, looking at the name with the gentle anticipation of a man in love. He looked at me quickly, asking permission. I grinned and nodded. It was always nice for me to be reminded that happiness and love could coexist. He kissed my head and told me to call if I needed him. Sometimes I don't know what I would do without Wally.

I got up and started walking around the abandoned park, moving quickly to keep warm. Sad grey clouds hung uneasily overhead. I came to a familiar tree. It used to be the tree Dick and I would sit under during hot summer days. I knelt and pushed away some of the dead leaves of the bushes surrounding it. I smiled when I saw Babs + Dick in a heart carved into the bark. It was only just visible in the gathering dusk. I felt fresh tears coming on. I traced the words and the heart with my fingers. I had carved them before everything got complicated.

I sighed and looked at the the stars, faded by the lights of Gotham. It was all so familiar and homey. But when Dick was around these days everything was alien and scary. I got up and began to walk back into Gotham.

She is so perfect. She has those pretty blue eyes. That long black hair. Flawless porcelain skin. Hell, she really is magical. She's smart. She's funny. She's beautiful. She has his love. She's isn't me.

And me? Well, I'm broken. I need him to hold me. He holds her. I need him to make me smile. He is always making her laugh. I want him to look at me like he used to. He looks at her like she's the only one in the room. I want him back. He'll be hers forever. I love him. He loves her.

And no matter how hard I wish, I will never be her. I'll never get to feel him hold me again. I'll never laugh at his corny jokes that he says just for me. I'll never get that adoring look from him. I'll never have him back.

When I get back to Headquarters tomorrow morning I'll be Batgirl again. I'll be strong, fearless, witty, fierce, and unbeatable. I'll be the heroine they can always count on to save the day. They'll never see me cry. Yes, tomorrow I'll be Batgirl again. But for tonight, I'm only Barbara Gordon.

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**AN: Well there you go...PLEASE REVIEW!**

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	2. Don't Ask

**AN: Well here's chapter two of my story. I was really shocked about the response the first chapter got. Thank you to all of my reviewers. This chapter's a little more mature then the last one. The team in in their erly twenties late teens. Just ignore the whole team splitting up thing.**

**Disclaimer: I own Nada.**

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M'gann, Connor, Raquel, and Zantana were all standing in the mission room, waiting for their assignment from Batman. They would have already received it but they were missing the last member of their team: Wally West, a.k.a. Kid Flash. It was already 9 pm and the night-life in the city was slowly revving up. Criminals and party-minded citizens alike were cruising the streets, waiting for the energy to hit critical mass before going all out. The pulse in the city was tangible, like electricity crackling under people's skin and behind their eyes. It hung in the air. Anyone could feel it.

The team certainly felt it, and it made them restless. Nightwing paced the floor, anxious to get moving. They were all getting impatient when they heard the zeta tubes announce the arrival of Wally... and Batgirl. They hurried into view and the sight of them elicited more than one audible gasp from the group.

Wally was shirtless, carrying his shoes and wearing only a pair of black dress pants. And he was soaking wet. Artemis couldn't help but stare at her boyfriend. The guy was built, always had been, and each curve of muscle in his arms or chest somehow looked even better than usual with a shining coat of unexplained water. His hair was plastered across his forehead, and the pants clung to his legs with every step. It certainly wasn't her fault that she couldn't tear her eyes away.

The girl walking next to him was also soaking wet. She was a pale creature with clear blue eyes and rich auburn hair that hung in loose damp waves around her face. Her eye makeup had run into a mess of black smudges around her eyes. She was wearing a men's black dress shirt, probably Wally's. Only the shirt. The lack of clothing revealed her creamy long porcelain legs. She was carrying four-inch stilettos in her hands. The flimsy silk shirt did not do much concealing even of those areas covered by its fabric, as she was soaking wet and the shirt was clinging to her body. It was very obvious that she lacked a bra. A deep red blush was spreading across the face of a certain Ex-Boy Wonder.

Batgirl had a scowl on her face darker than the heart of a thunderstorm and strode across the room like an angry lioness. She threw a flash drive at Batman's head. He caught it. Something in her eyes snapped.

"Does radio silence mean anything to you at all? At all?" the girl spat, throwing her arms into the air. Nightwing's blush deepened when he observed that the gesture revealed a bit of red lace where her legs met.

Batman knew better than to interrupt. "You owe me a new dress by the way! AND a new bra! That shit cost me fifty-five dollars!" She began pacing. "Do you have any idea how hard it is to improvise once your cover is completely and totally blown? Extremely! You always talk about how important following commands are! Hypocrite!"

He waited. She huffed and crossed her arms, glaring steadily at him, readying her next barrage of angry words.

"Well at least one good thing came out of it," Wally cut in before things got worse.

The girl turned to look at him, her anger sapped by sheer confusion. "And what on earth would that be?"

Wally sauntered over to her and draped his arm around her shoulder. Artemis and Nightwing glared at the couple. "Well, Babs," he said with a smirk. "At least now you know that if your hero job doesn't work out, you would make THE BEST stripper EVER."

She grinned. "Yeah I guess I would, wouldn't I?"

"Oh, definitely. You should have seen that guy's face! Priceless," he was laughing. The girl began to laugh with him.

"You should have felt his wingman up against my thigh."

"Against your thigh?"

"Oh yes. Repeatedly."

Everyone's eyes widened as the couple laughed.

"Well, I don't know about you, but I need a shower. I smell like cigarettes, dirty fountain water, and... sex," Babs said, wrinkling her nose in distaste. Wally snorted and nodded. He walked over to Artemis, lifting her chin for a quick peck on the lips, before heading off to the showers.

"What just happened?" a confused Rocket asked.

"I have no idea..." Zantana answered, observing the trails of water droplets they had left on the floor behind them with interest.

Batman coughed. "Well," he said. "They certainly seem a bit... preoccupied. I suppose you'll just have to go out on this mission without them."

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**An: Well I hope you enjoyed. Please Review!**


	3. Gone

**AN: Well here's the next chapter. I really apprieciate all of the reviews I've gotten. I hope you enjoy this story! It's set a while after new year's.**

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Barbara Gordon was sitting on the couch in her living room. The gathering dusk crept into the room until she could barely see, but she never stirred. She was staring blankly off into space, breathing in all of the scents of the different types of flowers scattered around her apartment.

They were all from people who didn't know her- or her father.

When she lost her mother a therapist had once told her that the trick for managing grief and moving on was setting small goals for oneself, to prove that the future was attainable or some such thing. Her goal right now was to keep her breathing steady. She would ensure that the air, stained as it was with the stench of sickly sweet flowers and musty water, would slide in and out of her lungs without getting caught in her throat. It was a good goal. Small and simple and within reach.

'You are doing well,' she thought to herself, 'very well'. The voice in her head had taken on a soothing tone, as if she were a sad child who might be comforted by a few gentle words and a goodnight kiss. Silent tears rolled down her face as she remembered what had... happened... earlier in the week. Her chest felt like a festering, empty hole that still burned at the edges from where the object of her grief had been ripped away, and her throat ached. No easy childlike balm could console her. Not today. The cavity in her heart was just too big to even think of easing.

There came a knock at the door, then another. It took her nearly a minute for her to process that there was an actual human out there that expected something of her, then another to summon the motivation to do anything about it.

The knock came again and she pulled herself up from the couch and walked slowly over to the door. Not even bothering to look through the peep hole- if it was a murderous psychopath on the other side, well, she was really in no mood to give a damn- she opened the door. On the other side was not an ax murderer but instead one of her best friends. She discovered that she felt no particular relief at this revelation.

She stared up at him blankly. He looked her over with concern. They stood there blinking at each other for a long moment before he stepped forward and pulled her into a hug.

It was as if a dam had broken. Her entire body went limp almost instantly. 'Screw goals', she thought, and allowed herself to indulge in the ugliest and most violent crying session she had ever experienced. Her eyes poured tears, her throat convulsed repeatedly, and her chest was wracked with sobs.

Slightly alarmed, he half-carried her out of the entryway and over to the couch. He sat down and arranged her as well as he could manage. Guessing that a hug would help calm her, he wrapped his arms around her tightly and waited. Her trembling hands curled into loose fists against his shirt.

Once the more violent sobbing was mostly spent, she continued to cry, but much more gently. He slowly lowered her until only her head rested in his lap and settled down to stroking her hair and making soothing sounds. She looked up into the green of his eyes for a moment and then turned her head to face out into the dark room.

"I mi-mi-miss hi-him Wa-a-lly," she choked on her words.

"Shhh... it's gonna be ok. I'll always be here for you," he murmured, still smoothing her hair. His words felt useless, but he had to say something, right?

"I just- don't get how he could be gone!" she tilted her head to look at him again. "He's the police commissioner. Sure, I knew it was dangerous but I-I never thought- that he could could actually d-" she couldn't finish, for she began to sob again. Wally pulled her back against his chest, close to his heart, wishing he were able to protect her from everything.

Suddenly there came another knock at the door. Wally and Babs both looked at each other quizzically.

"It's probably just another person who didn't know my dad bringing flowers," she said wearily and not without a hint of disapproval in her voice.

"I'll go get rid of them, ok?" he said, getting up and kissing the top of her head. He opened the door, expecting some pitying citizen that had heard of the commissioner's untimely death and believed that the obvious thing to do was bombard the bereaved daughter with flowers.

What he did not expect was to see Dick Grayson standing there with a wide grin on his face, his back-pack slung jauntily over his shoulder and a warm brown tan lying comfortably on his cheekbones and the bridge of his nose.

"Wally? What are you doing here, man?" Dick said, still smiling. "Haven't seen you lately! How've you been?"

For a moment Wally couldn't move. He just stood there and stared. A million thoughts were running through his head. 'Dick doesn't know? How could he not know? I thought he and Babs were best friends!' He scrambled helplessly for words.

Then the voice of Babs drifted in from the next room.

"Wally?" she asked, walking into the entry hall. Her voice was weak. "Who's at the door?"

She was wearing only a button-down shirt. It had been one of her father's. When she was small he had often let her wear his shirts so that she could pretend to be one of the Lost Boys. Now the faint scent of the cologne and aftershave from his room still clung to the fabric and she found it comforting. Dick stared at her messy hair and red eyes in complete bewilderment.

"What's wrong, Babs? And... why are you only in that shirt?" he asked with a chuckle. He looked back and forth between Wally and Babs, clearly planning a string of dirty jokes.

Wally's eyes widened. "You- you don't know, do you?" Babs asked, tears forming in her eyes again.

"Know what, Babs?" he asked, growing concerned. This must be more serious than he'd thought. "What's wrong?"

Wally noticed Babs setting her shoulder back as Dick spoke. She sauntered casually over to one of the many potted flowers in her apartment.

"Well, it makes sense I guess. I mean, you've been waaay too busy lately," she said slowly, stroking one of the delicate petals on the flower. "With your team, you know. You always have to train and go on missions. It's got to be really tough on you. And then there's that new girlfriend of yours. Zantana, is it? Odd name, Zantana... pretty though. Yep, you sure have been far too busy to worry about little old me."

She smiled, her face nuzzling the flowers, breathing deeply.

"Babs...?" Dick asked, confused.

All of a sudden the entire pot of flowers came flying past his head, shattering on the doorframe just to his left.

"Holy- What the hell, Babs?" he gasped, glaring at her. She had turned her back to him after launching the flowers.

"Read the card," she said simply.

"I... What?" he asked. He was getting more than a little frustrated in addition to his complete bewilderment.

"Read the damn card, Grayson. On the flowers," she sneered. Her hands were in tense fists at her sides. He turned and looked at the dirt and shattered porcelain and saw the corner of a white piece of paper poking out. He looked at her, then Wally, before shrugging and picking it up to read. The handwriting was neat and the paper looked expensive.

"I am truly sorry for your loss. Your father was an honorable commissioner and will be missed dearly. Your family will remain in our prayers.

-The Bryce Family at Bryce Hall, 19 Hubberston Street"

Dick read the words through twice before properly processing them. Sorry for your loss... Her father was dead! His eyes snapped back to Babs, who still stubbornly faced away from him. WIth all the time he spent training he had little time for watching the news, but how could he possibly have missed an event like that? No wonder she was upset with him.

"Babs-" he tried.

"Get out," she said. Her voice cracked but her tone was harsh.

"No, listen, Babs. I-" Dick tried again, but he was cut off by Wally.

"You need to leave, Dick. Now." He firmly pushed the younger boy out the door and caught a glimpse of the face that showed only undiluted regret just before shutting it. He sighed. The entire situation was a horrible mess, and he could see no real way to fix any of it.

He shook his head and approached Babs. She had bent her head to let tears flow again, and there were two drops on the carpet already.

One thing he had always admired about Babs was how completely emotionally honest with herself she was. She never cringed away from her feelings or felt embarrassed to be hurting, but instead let herself laugh and cry and throw things in rage as needed to address her emotions. He could never do that.

He took her shoulders and gently turned her around, then wrapped his arms around her and held her close. When he hugged her while she was sad he found that she always felt smaller than usual.

Suddenly she pulled away and walked into the kitchen. He followed her, puzzled, and watched as she opened the utensils' drawer and pulled out a large steak knife. She trailed one finger upwards along the dull edge of the blade, then paused at the tip.

"...Babs?"

She ignored him. A vague fear took him and he was debating taking the knife away when she abruptly yanked the blade off of the handle. She tossed the blade into the drawer and turned the handle over in her hand. A small brass key fell out of it. She walked over to a particular cabinet and unlocked it with the key. Inside were various bottles of hard liquor and a number of different types of glasses. She pulled out two shot glasses and a bottle of kahlua. Wally raised his eyebrows.

She set the glasses down on the table, then filled each to the brim with the kahlua. She stared at them for a while, smiling just a bit. Wally walked over to her and hugged her for a moment. He was worried. He then backed up two steps and held her out critically at arm's length.

"Look Babs, I know you're upset about everything but... drowning it in alcohol won't help anything. Come on now," he said, a little desperate, searching her face for that all-too-familiar sign of giving up that he didn't ever want to have to see in another person again.

"Please," she begged. "Please, I... I just want to forget. Just let me try to forget. Please."

Wally sighed and sat down in his usual chair, across from hers. What was the point of trying to argue with her now? She was always stubborn, and he knew that she would get her way with or without his approval. He also knew that trying to apply any rigid moral code to the depths of human suffering was just plain stupid.

They looked each other square in the eye before downing their first of many shots.

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**Well that's it. I hope you liked this chapter! Please review!**


	4. Lost

**AN: Ok so this author's not is IMPORTANT! PLEASE READ SO YOU DON'T GET MAD LATER!. SO first off this chapter was published without a Beta reader. Second I will be away for the first two weeks of july. Thridly my Beta reader will be away for ALL of july. So you can expect either a few crap updates or none at all. Thank you for your support and I will make my Beta edit like crazy upon their return! I hope you enjoy this story. It's based of of Christina Aguilera's You Lost me.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Young Justic or You Lost Me yada ****yada**** yada **** yada we all know it.**

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I stood there striating up from my crouch. My batarang exploding on impact. I looked over and saw the startled and confused looks of Dick Grayson and Zantana Zatara. They looked over when the smoke cleared to see a random deadbeat with a pistol.

"Try to be more careful next time." I said with venom in voice. I turned around and walked into the shadows of the night. I felt tears prickling at the back of my eyes. I straitened up. This is not me. I don't cry. I hold my head up high for all to see.

I climbed through my bedroom window and pulled off my cowl stripping out of my costume. I put them in their secret compartment then flopped down on my bed. I stared at my ceiling for a while. So many thoughts were running through my head. He had really moved on. We weren't really dating, but there was something there. I new it. He did too.

I turned on my side to see a picture of us on my nightstand. I sighed at the happy smiles on our faces. I put the photo face down on my nightstand. I didn't want to think of what was gone.

I got up to go into the shower. I stripped off my underwear and stepped into the steamy water. I let the water flow around me. I stood under the flow of water letting it wash over my red hair and face. I remember what they had been doing just a moment before I came. They were making out in some random alley. You think he would have been smarter then that. She must be great. I mean she managed to win his heart...Make him lose his better judgment with just a kiss.

I sighed working the shampoo into my hair. I thought about Dick and my relationship recently. We had been drifting apart before but when he...kissed her... I sighed again letting the steam over come me. It still hurt to think about that. He ditched my New Years party. Well not exactly ditch, he didn't show up. Didn't call either. When he came back after winter break, he ignored me, almost completely. I had to ask Wally what got into him... He was so sad when he told me. He was the only one who knew about how I felt. Dick and I used to play pranks on people all the time. We are protégés of Batman after

all. So that makes us perfect for it. We don't do that anymore. We don't really do anything anymore...

I felt tears threatening to come again. I would not cry. He isn't worth it. I don't care if he never loved me like I love him. I don't care if he found someone else. I don't care if we aren't friends anymore. I don't care. I don't. I don't.

I kept replaying these thoughts in my head. I still felt one lone tear roll down my face. But it could have been water from the shower...

I feel like we used to have something special. We had magical moments. But all magic is, are quick tricks, fog machines, and lies.

I walked out of the shower my towel wrapped tightly around my body. I walked back into my room and looked at all of the pictures of Dick and I. I honestly thought he cared about me. But he just couldn't keep his hands to himself. typical. He is Bruce's ward after all.

I switched on the TV as I got dressed. It was some random news channel. I looked through my drawers and came across and old t-shirt of Dick's I had took. I looked at it for a while. I was brought out of my trance by the new caster saying something about young justice. They were everywhere you turned now a days.

I angrily switched off my TV. I really hated him sometimes. He acted like everything was perfect all that time. He acted like I wouldn't care he never showed up or called me back. He probably thought "Oh its just Babs. She'll understand. I don't have to call her to let her know I'm not coming. I can let her wait for two hours. She won't care. It doesn't matter." Well it did and still does matter, to me at least. He didn't even care how neglected he was making me feel. He just stopped caring about me.

I lied down on my bed starring off into the darkness. When had things become so different. My dad says we are just growing apart. I'm starting to think that's a big part of if. I guess our futures just weren't meant to be intertwined. Our lives are just so different now. But I guess things and people just...change.

I felt my eye lids get heavy, signaling sleep coming on. The last thing I thought of till I drifted off to dreamland was how Dick had just lost a damn good friend.

I stood in front of him as he fiddled with his clothing nervously. He wanted to talk to me. You hear that HE wanted to talk to ME. I guess I should feel honored right. I mean he has never had time for me before.

"Look Babs, I know things haven't been great between us lately. But you're still one of my best friends. And I really don't want to lose that." He said looking me in the eye. I looked at him trying to figure it out. But mostly I focused on how he didn't want to lose my FRIENDSHIP. He didn't say he didn't want to lose ME.

I looked at Dick sadly. I didn't even really know him anymore. We had grown. Become completely different people in such a short time. And we had done it alone. I don't think we know anything about each other anymore. I feel like we lost our partnership and became independent. Without one another.

"Do you really want to make this work Dick?" I asked him skeptically.

"Of course I do! Why would you even thi-"

"Dick. We I this." I took a deep breath trying to find the words I needed to say. "I wish, I really really wish. But be real about it." I said sadly.

He looked at me confused and slightly hurt. He was about to argue when I continued talking.

"Dick. I don't know you anymore. And you, you don't know me either. Our friendship is too far gone to salvage now. We've both grown up a lot. And we did it without each other. We aren't, we can't be what we used to be. I really really wish that we could be friends again, but the fact is, we can't. And even by some chance we could, I I couldn't go through losing you again. It's gone Dick. We just have to deal with it." I looked at him eyes slightly watery. He looked hurt and sad. I walked up to him and gave him one last hug. I rested my head on his should for a minuet.

"We've lost our fight Richard. I'll miss you." I whispered in his ear. I pulled away and gave him one last smile. I turned and started to walk away.

I still get upset whenever I see kiddy magic kits. It reminds me of her, which reminds me of them, which reminds me of him, which in turn, reminds me of us. I can block it out most times, but sometimes all the memories come back to me. It's like a hurricane. All the good, and the bad, and all of the heartbreak I felt. It feels like too much sometimes.

I stood in a corner at the cave. It was their five-year anniversary. I tried to be happy for them, I really did. It just hurt too much to see them so happy. To see him so happy without me.

They played that stupid video for them. It was their first kiss. The one they shared on New Years. The one that started their relationship. That ended ours. That ruined everything. That made me cry so many times. I slipped out unnoticed by anyone else. But who would notice me? I'm just another brokenhearted girl. I'm a dime a dozen I guess.

I heard footsteps coming up behind me. I couldn't help but hope a little that they were his. I'm ashamed to say I was disappointed when Wally wrapped me up in a hug. I should of known it was Wally. He doesn't care about me anymore.

"It's been over four years. You need to talk to him." Wally murmured into my hair. It was true. We had had that talk four years ago. I hadn't talked to him since. But he hadn't made an effort to either.

"You can tell him, if he really wants to talk to me, to meet me on my fire escape. And if not, then I never want to see him again." I said sternly. I felt Wally nod and get up. He gave me a look that held so many emotions I didn't think it was possible. I nodded my head and he turned and walked away. I turned back over to the ocean. I watched the moon dace across its surface, the light creating little dances. I dug my toes into the sand one last time before I turned around and walked back to the Zeta tubes.

I heard a tapping at my window and my heart stopped. I didn't really expect him to come. I took a deep breath and opened my window. I climbed out of it and was soon face to face with him. I looked at him. I really looked. Because, in my heart, I knew, I just knew, that this might be the last time I will ever see him.

"Babs, look I know I messed up. I messed up really bad. But I miss my best friend. I miss all the things we used to do. I miss us." He said looking endearing. It was sweet but it was just like last time. He never said he missed me. Just things about me. I looked up at him. His bright blue eyes looking into mine. All of a suddenly I felt like I was fourteen again. Sick on puppy love. Daringly optimistic that we'd fall in love and be together forever.

"You never told me." I said quietly. "I thought you trusted me. But I found out from Wally. I was so sad. You chose her and didn't even let me know." I said not looking at him.

"Look Babs I know it was stupid I didn't tell you. I wish I had. But I can't change the past." He said lifting my head up to look at him. I could feel more tears threatening to fall. I wouldn't cry in front of him. I wouldn't show him what he put me through.

"It's to late. It's too damn late Dick! It's been four fucking years!" I said. I looked down, a single tear falling down my cheek.

"Please." I whispered. "Please just tell me. That night, when we were thirteen, on the roof. Did you mean it? Did you ever even care about me?"

He sighed and looked at me. I must look pathetic.

"Of course I meant it. I still mean it. I love you Babs. I always have! and I always will."

"Liar." I said sternly yet shakily. "Why do you expect me to believe you? You say you love me? That's bullshit! If you loved me you would actually give a damn about me!" I said shouting slightly.

"Babs, Please just trust me-"

"Trust you? TRUST YOU! After everything you put me through you expect me to trust you." I asked astonished.

"Do you know what it's like? Seeing the man you love with someone else? I could never get away from it. You and you're little team were EVERYWHERE! I always saw thing about you and her! It was like everyone was trying to rub it in my face! I love you Dick! Are you happy now. I love you! I have since we were thirteen." I screamed not caring that I just confessed my love for hm.

"But I didn't matter to you then. I guess I don't now either. Do you have any idea what you put me through! You were supposed to be my best friend Dick! But you-you just left one day. And you never came back. This person claiming to be you did. But he wasn't you! He didn't care about me. At all. He just ignored me. I felt so alone." I said angrily. He looked at me pity and sympathy in his eyes.

I looked him up and down. I started to chuckle softly. He looked at me like I was on some of joker's gas.

"It's funny. We used to be so close. We knew everything about each other. We were inseparable. And now, this is the first time we've talked in years." I said looking at him.

"You should go now." I said looking at the floor of the fire escape.

"Babs you know you were my best friend. And that no one could ever replace you right?"

"Good-bye Richard. I miss you." I said turning and climbing back into my window. Before I went inside fully I turned and looked at him. Memorizing every detail about him.

"I'll never forget you." I whispered before going inside fully and shutting my window. No matter how much I hate to admit it, it's the truth. I'll never be able to forget him. No matter how hard I try. I heard him leave the escape and leap into the night. That's when I finally fell to my knees cried. I sobbed holding my knees up to my chest and rocking slightly.

I had left Gotham within a week. I had left everything that had to do with batgirl or Dick behind. I packed up my car, with the help of Wally, and left. Wally was the only person I told I was leaving.

He still visits me. I looked at the one picture of Dick I had. It was us when we were thirteen, ten years sure feels like a lifetime, he was pushing me on a swing and I was laughing. All of the memories of him have gotten kinda fuzzy. In the past ten years I had only talked to him once. It was that night on the fire escape. I tried not to think of it. I left my old life behind a long time ago. I'm not Barbara Gordon any more. I'm not batgirl. I'm Angela Delvinge now. I died my hair brown and wear my glasses all the time now. I work at the local library and love to read. I don't date that much. As much as I hate to admit it, I never fully got over Dick. I made a new mantle. I'm still a crime fighter, but I go as Oracle now. I still swing through the night protecting the citizens of Seattle. I try to stay as far away from the justice league as possible. I'm happy now, and I don't want seeing Dick to fuck everything up again. He had already done that to me once. And there was no way in hell it's gonna happen again.

I had always thought I was the one who lost Dick. But maybe he was the one who lost me...

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**AN: Please review! I know it wasn't my best...but I tried ok! So Please Review!**


	5. Game of Gingers

**AN: Well I've updated...finally. Umm yeah enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: i do not own young justice or got**

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The team was sitting together peacefully, eating their breakfast in the kitchen. They had had a grueling mission last night, one that involved cobra venom, three hysterical runners-up from last year's Miss Gotham competition, and lots and LOTS of mud. By the time they got back to the gym, showered, and ate it was already three o'clock in the morning. They had all decided it was best to stay at the cave for the night. Each had then dragged his or her exhausted body back to their respective room- that is except for Artemis, who chose to sleep in her boyfriend's room.

By about 11:30 in the morning they had all sufficiently recovered to climb out of bed and find their way to the kitchen. M'gann was making pancakes while Connor did his best to help her, Kaldur was leaning against the counter reading the newspaper, and Raquel sat next to him on the counter silently playing a game on her phone. Robin and Zantana, apparently too hungry to wait for the pancakes, were eating cereal together at the table- and not so discreetly playing footsie. Meanwhile Artemis was digging around in the fridge for some juice and Wally was sitting on a stool in front of the counter, contentedly eating a banana.

The newest member of the team walked in and made a swift beeline over to the coffee pot. She poured herself a fat mug full and glared at Robin and Zantana from behind her large sunglasses. This morning her long red hair was in a messy side braid, strands falling all over her face and sweeping down her neck. She had only joined the team a couple of months ago. It had been a shock to most of them that there was a female Bat in Gotham. Even Robin and Artemis knew little- if anything- about her.

"Good morning, Batgirl," Kaldur greeted her kindly. Raquel shot her a smile before returning to her game.

"Morning," she said cheerfully, but her face was tired. She looked over everyone in the kitchen, her eyes suddenly landing on Wally. She studied him for a long moment before breaking the peaceful silence of the kitchen.

"Hey, Wally?" she asked.

He looked up having just taken a large bite of banana. "Mmph... yeah?" he asked, swallowing.

"Do you like doggie style?" she asked conversationally. Her tone was as unruffled as if she was simply asking about the weather. M'gann blinked at her in confusion, not knowing what doggie style was. Connor looked at her thoughtfully, trying to remember what it was. Kaldur looked mildly mortified. Raquel had lowered her phone and stared at the two with slight amusement in her eyes. Zantana looked appalled- the nerve of the girl, that she would ask such a thing so nonchalantly! Robin unfortunately had no amusing facial expression to offer because he was too busy choking on his cereal in astonishment. Artemis dropped the jug of orange juice she was carrying (fortunately unopened) to gaze wide-eyed at the scene unfolding before her. Wally ignored them all.

"Hmm... I mean, I guess? I prefer regular missionary mostly, you know," he answered as calmly and normally as she had asked it. The latest numbers from the stock exchange might arouse more excitement than existed in that tone of voice.

"Yeah. I agree. Although... I sure do like cowgirl style," she said with a wicked glint in her eye.

"That's really just missionary with you on top. You realize that, right?" he pointed out.

"Yeah, yeah, I just like to call it that," she giggled happily. It was almost as if she was talking about puppies.

Instead of, you know, sex positions.

"Only because you liked the hat," he drawled, taking another bite of his banana.

"That's true. I did look pretty damn sexy in it," she said, smiling widely. Wally chuckled and shook his head.

"Back to doggie style: if you loved someone, wouldn't you want to look into their eyes while you had sex? And not just stare at the back of their head?" she asked, looking at Wally. He shrugged.

"I guess. I think they probably do it to save time. Quickest way and all. Just pull down your pants and have at it. No lying down involved."

"True. I don't know, I still feel it's over-used though. Maybe we should get them all that Indian book on sex positions!" she suggested. He laughed.

"Sounds like a good idea."

They both laughed.

"What the HELL are you two doing?" they heard Artemis ask, shaking them of their own little world.

"Talking about sex positions," Wally answered matter-of-factly. From listening to those two talk, any person would think that weighing the merits of various sex positions was the most normal breakfast conversation imaginable.

"Why?" she inquired, not without a hint of jealousy in her voice.

"Because we talked about incest and whores last night," Batgirl replied in exactly the same tone Wally had used.

"Why would you talk about that?" they heard Robin ask in complete bewilderment. Batgirl clenched her fists and Wally glanced at her.

"Wally, speaking of sex," she began, ignoring Robin completely.

"Hmm?"

"Have you still got it?" she asked him seductively. A wicked smile stretched across his face.

"Someone's getting laid tonight," he announced with a whistle.

"Yes, Mr. West, yes they are," she smirked.

"Well, why not just start now?" Wally asked, perhaps a touch too excited to maintain his cool and confident facade.

"West, darling, I like the way you think," she said, walking towards the Zeta tubes.

"See you guys later," Wally called before hurrying to the Zeta tubes after her.

"Did that... just happen?" Raquel was doing a terrible job of masking her delight.

" . ," Artemis growled.

"They aren't going to have intercourse with each other." M'gann piped up helpfully. "I could tell by their subconscious wave patterns. They weren't talking about themselves when referencing the act of mating just now."

"Well, who were they talking about then?" Raquel asked.

"I have no idea..."

(With Wally and Babs)

"Did you SEE their faces?" Babs asked giggling, bouncing up the steps to her apartment. Wally snorted and nodded.

"Priceless," he said, wiping a tear from his eye. Babs unlocked her front door and walked in. Wally followed and put some popcorn in the microwave.

"I still can't believe you got it," Babs said excitedly.

"Best decision ever, right?" Wally asked cockily.

"Oh, definitely, she replied with sincerity. Wally sat down besides her and pressed play on the remote.

They spent the rest of that day, almost all of the night, and most of the next day watching Seasons One and Two of Game of Thrones.

Two days after the breakfast incident Wally and Babs returned to the cave as if nothing had happened. They waved aside everyone's questions and began to make lunch.

Before their sandwiches were complete however it had started again.

"What do you think it'd be like having sex with a dwarf?"

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**AN: Well I hope you liked it. And in case you didn't get it, they were talking about game of thrones. PLEASE REVIEW!**


	6. IMPORTANT AN

**Okay guys this is a REALLY important author's note. The next two chapters will be dealing with some pretty intense themes. Read at your own discretion. And also the ways in which these issues were dealt with in the story are NOT the correct ways to deal with the issues. Never be afraid to ask for help.**


	7. Secrets Part 1

**AN: Welp this chapter is part one of two. I hope you like it!**

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A young girl was kneeling on the floor of the bathroom of her apartment. She was fifteen years old and her shoulders drooped with weariness beneath an old tee shirt worn thin and soft with age. The lights above her flickered, cool and white and dim. A well-worn first aid kit sat open on the toilet beside her. She tugged a cotton ball out of the package and wet it with hydrogen peroxide. Her hands swift and practiced, she used it to clean the wide scrape across his forehead. The muscles in his jaw tensed. Having cleaned the injury to her satisfaction, she slathered it with antibiotic ointment and slapped a Band-Aid on it. Done. She moved on. She knew by now that if she was quick and methodical the process would be easier. Ignoring his pain was the only way to go, at least for the moment. Even so, her fingers trembled just a bit when his hiss of pain met her ears as she worked on the rather nasty gash under his eye.

His eyes. They were an oddly vibrant green, like fresh cut grass in the spring. Usually those eyes were filled to overflowing with joy and mischief, so alight with life. They were dark and cloudy now. They were half-closed, heavy with shame. The sadness manifested in the occasional glitter of tears he'd been trained never to let fall. She knew that that contagious joy in his eyes was faked all too often. He would show up at her apartment, badly bruised, after a day of fun with the team. She couldn't bear to think how it must have felt to roughhouse with the others while hiding the injuries of the previous night.

Some days were worse than others. On the worst days she could barely make herself look at him. He looked so broken, so unlike himself, that it almost felt like she was intruding by looking his way. Today was one of those days.

He had staggered into her apartment without a word as usual. He wouldn't say anything on these occasions. He didn't have to. One look at him and he knew she knew. He had let her guide him into the bathroom and promptly slumped to the floor, with his back propped up against the tub, as if he'd never move again. Looking down at him she thought sadly that he looked less like a superhero or a developing young man than the broken doll of an especially cruel and inventive child. Even with his enhanced healing ability the bruises and scars were tough to hide.

"Your shirt now," she said briskly, hoping her voice didn't waver. He obliged, half-sitting up and lifting his arms helpfully.

Removing the shirt required tearing open the wounds where the blood had already dried. He knew this as well as she did and bit the inside of his cheek. She tried to yank the shirt off in one swift motion, but it got tangled with his elbow and was sort of stuck in the back where the scabs were thicker and he was gasping a bit with each breath and she was ready to cry.

In short, business as usual.

After several long minutes she finally got the damned shirt off and controlled the bleeding. The girl sighed as she worked her way down his toned chest and over his stomach, sanitizing and bandaging, hiding raw red gashes and purpling bruises under clean white gauze. Then his arms too needed to be looked after. His lower arms had taken a vicious beating from when he used them to block the first blows. After a time of course he had given up trying to shield his body, but there it was. She affixed one last piece of gauze to a nick on his shoulder. There. Torso and arms done. Now for his back.

"Lean forward," she said, and climbed into the bathtub.

Apparently his father had brought out the belt again. His back was a thick, bloody mess. When she ran over it with the peroxide his pain was audible and he arched his back. She waited silently for him to settle down again, which he did in a moment. She did not fail to notice that a tear had escaped his eyes and that the muscles in his back were tight to keep from cringing away from her. She wished for the hundredth time that she were less observant. Cleaning and covering the whole of his back took a long, long time.

"Into the tub now."

He climbed in obediently. She turned on the faucet to warm and grabbed a sponge and some soap. He still wouldn't look at her and for once she was grateful. If he looked at her with that dead empty stare she might just drop the sponge and bawl like some useless scared child. She worked the soap to a lather in her hands and, because he was staring at the floor of the tub anyway, began to wash his hair. It was clotted with blood. She rinsed out the soap with gentlest setting on the showerhead and stuck a cotton ball over the gash in his hair. Progress.

"What about here?" she asked, eyeing his shorts with apprehension.

He only shrugged.

And so she did her best. Little by little, with soap and warm water and gentle hands, she cleaned him up. She ran her hands over the scars on his stomach and winced, knowing that he had gotten them a long time ago. Because of his exceptional healing capabilities, fresh wounds did not scar. But the old ones, the ones from his childhood, did not fade any faster than they otherwise would. She carried on. He held his knees above the water to keep the bandages dry and she worked carefully. She cupped his cheek while scrubbing his neck with the sponge, rubbing her thumb over a small scar below his ear. He had been thrown into the wall at age three and gotten a small burn from the radiator. It was his first scar from his father and they both knew it.

She was the only one who knew about this. And no one knew about her playing doctor to him almost three times a week. He didn't even come for her help all the time. It all depended how bad the pain was and whether he thought it might get infected. Lesser wounds would be healed by morning. No one knew how he had received his many scars. He was thankful that his super healing erased the new ones so quickly. She wanted him to tell someone, but she knew he never would.

At least, not without a fight.

"Babs…" she heard him murmur. She was kneeling in shallow and slowly cooling bathwater. She had changed the water twice because of the blood, but this one was finally clear and sweet. He had been sufficiently cleaned and bandaged a long time ago. The bubbles held the very masculine scent of roses. She was tired. The situation was almost comically tragic and there was no energy left in her to process it. She looked up at him, eyes slightly glassy with hurt.

"Why won't you do something? You're getting hurt," she said in a small voice. He sighed and stood to get out of the tub. She yanked a towel off the rack and threw it at him. He blinked at it for a moment, then wrapped it around his waist and abandoned his shorts and boxers on the bloody tile floor.

"We should probably wash my clothes," he said thoughtfully.

"Wally."

He sighed again and helped her out of the bathtub, lifting her over the bloody part of the floor and onto the rug by the sink. Then he sat on the counter and examined the gory mess he had made of her bathroom. When she shivered (her night shirt had gotten soaked and the AC was on its highest setting) he grabbed a second towel and bundled her up in it, tugging her into his lap.

"Be warm, tiny redhead."

"I worry about you. So much," she whispered, burrowing her head into his shoulder. She breathed in his familiar sent under the absurd rose soap she had used. Everyone on earth had their own distinct odor, and his was a warm smell.

"You know why I can't tell," he said, lifting her chin up to face him.

"No. I don't."

He ran his hand through his hair.

"I'm so ashamed. I'm supposed to help people, but I can't even protect myself."

"Wally…" Babs began.

"I mean I'm Kid Fucking Flash for God's sake! Protégé to THE Flash. I'm on an elite team of previous sidekicks, using their powers and experience to save the day! It's embarrassing. I can take down super villains but I can't defend myself from- him-" his voice broke.

"Wally."

"I mean, how am I supposed to help people if I can barely help myself? Can you even imagine what would happen if they found out? They might think I have some- weak spot that he's been using- villains could use it too you know- How would they ever be able to trust me in the field again?!"

"Wally!"

"And then I'd be USELESS, just like he says I am. I would have become everything that he says I am. Useless... Stupid... Piece of shit... No one could ever love ME. I'm just a fucking wimp. Coward. LOSER. Can't even DEFEND myself. Liar, even. Hopeless-"

"WALLY!" she yelled. He snapped out of it and looked down at her, slightly startled. He had been clutching her tighter and tighter as he spoke and now relaxed.

"Gosh, sorry Babs. I guess I can't even-"

She cut him off with a wave of her arm. "Stop it! Just stop, ok?! You are none of those horrible things and you will never BE any of those things, you hear?"

"It's just… Hell, Babs. I'm Kid Flash."

"No. Kid Flash may always be Wally, but Wally isn't always Kid Flash. Wally is a sweet science nerd with a big heart. He's teenage boy, and a bit of a flirt. IT IS OK to be weak sometimes, all right? You tell me that all the time. And you know as well as I do that abuse is NOT the victim's fault. Not even a little bit. But you have to tell someone, Wally. What if your healing isn't fast enough- or he brings out that knife again- or-" She knew crying wouldn't help but she was doing it anyway. She couldn't help it.

"Shhh... Shhh... It's ok. You know I can stop him if I absolutely have to."

"You need to tell somebody."

"You need to accept that I can't."

"If you don't tell, I will."

"Fine, and I'll tell them about your little issue too."

She was at a loss for words. She slid out of his lap and stared at him.

"How dare you."

"I mean it, Babs."

"There's no comparison. Abuse isn't 'little', Wally."

"And rape is?"

"It was my fault! I should never have accepted the alcohol, never have let myself drink so much..."

"There's help for you, Babs. You can get justice."

"In this town, we ARE justice."

"So go beat the shit out of him then. I'll help. Hell, the whole team will help."

"They're not going to find out."

"Fine. But what are you going to do about the fetus?"

"I'll figure something out."

"Bruce could help you. Get you to a good doctor. It'd be all over in a heartbeat."

"Bruce would KILL me. I broke the law. I'm supposed to uphold the laws."

"I think he'd forgive you."

"You're wrong."

"So are you."

Babs leaned against the wall. "I guess we're deadlocked then."

"If you tell, I'll tell."

"That's not fair."

"Yes it is."

"You could DIE, Wally."

"You're the victim of a CRIME, Babs."

"I hate to see you hurt! Please, even if it's just Alfred. Please just do something…"

"You know I can't. What if they don't let me be a hero anymore? I don't know what I would do…"

"Please."

"What if I promise that next time I'll stop it?"

Babs shrugged. "I guess I don't have a choice but to accept it."

"Truce?"

"Truce."

She climbed back into his lap. She might convince him to get help one day. But right now he was content being beaten without anyone knowing. It stopped his dad from hurting his oblivious mother. And Wally wanted to keep it that way. He would be willing to do just about anything to keep his mom safe.

Yes, no one knew but her how his father beat him. How he was never good enough for him. No one knew. No one on the team or in the League. Not Barry. Not Robin. Not even his girlfriend Artemis. No one he cared about knew. And that's just the way he wanted it to stay.

Two frightened teenagers sat on the counter in the bathroom of a lonely city apartment. They were tired and confused and scared. Both desperately wanted to help the other and neither had the faintest idea how to go about it. And so they rocked back and forth and cried together, hoping against hope that somehow it would be all right in the end.

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**AN: Well I hopeyou liked it. Please Review!**


	8. Secrets Part 2

**AN: I am SOSOSOSOSOSO soooo sorry it took so long to update. Blame my lazy Beta reader. Anyyyyway, there will be like two more parts to this! Please enjoyy! And I know its short. Sowwy.**

**Disclaimer: Im poor okay!**

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A young girl was walking down a quiet street, half-humming some song she didn't care to remember. It was a beautiful day in Central City, Missouri. The air was a comfortable eighty degrees. The sun was shining bright in a baby blue sky, accompanied by big fluffy clouds. She didn't see weather like this in Gotham. Even the grass looked greener than usual, and the birds' songs seemed especially joyful.

She ambled down the street past an unbroken row of white picket fences, taking in the sleepy lull of suburban life. Two young boys were riding their bikes down the street. They were all geared up, with helmets, kneepads, and elbow pads, and they were laughing together. She smiled at their simplicity of life. She loved moments like this one, ones where the biggest immediate threat was getting sunburned or being stung by a bee. Those sweet little moments seemed to be growing more rare by the day and she was determined to savor them.

She rounded a corner and saw that her destination was in sight. It was a two-story blue house with navy blue window frames and a big porch out front. There was a simple silver Subaru in the driveway. The yard was as pristine as a golf course without a trace of crab grass. A tall lamppost was in the front yard, surrounded at the base by uncut grass and dandelions where she knew Wally had gotten lazy while mowing. She smiled as she walked onto the walkway leading up to the porch, breathing in the heady fragrance of Mary West's roses surrounding the porch. Mrs. West was famous around the neighborhood for her spectacular roses.

She knocked on the dark blue front door and waited for it to be opened. It felt like coming home, in a way. The wooden porch had given a slight creak when she stepped on to it. There was the white porch swing with the paint chipping off where she had spent so many lazy afternoons and memorable evenings. There was the white wicker table with the primly matching sets of chairs and their faded floral cushions. She smiled at the memories of peach tea and thick science textbooks.

That was the reason she was here now of course. She wasn't exactly a wiz at micro-bio. How Wally had convinced her to take that course she would never know. She could hack the Pentagon's servers and reprogram corporate satellites to her will but for the life of her she couldn't tell you how white blood cells reacted to bacteria. Wally on the other hand was effortlessly genius at any type of science he came into contact with. Must be a speedster thing, she thought, considering that Barry too is a scientist.

She had stood there for a while before knocking again. No answer. She pressed her ear to the door, listening for any movement. She tried to look in the windows but the curtains were drawn. She frowned. That was strange. Wally always left all the curtains open in the middle of the day so he'd have enough light to read. She went to get the spare key from under the stairs and returned quickly to fumble at the lock. It was an old house and the lock tended to stick a bit. She pushed open the door and walked inside.

"Wally!" she called, setting her bag down near the side table and tossing key into the glass bowl that held the rest of the keys.

"Yo! Wally! I really need to study for this test!" she yelled, slipping out of her flats. She sighed when she heard no answer. He had probably fallen asleep on the couch with his quantum physics book again. She walked into the living room rolling her cardigan into a ball, ready to throw it at him. She was prepared to let the cardigan fly and took a breath to yell his name again, but the sound died in her throat when she saw his living room.

Red. Deep, dripping crimson red. That was all she could see. For a moment her mind worked slowly. The red was everywhere. Why was everything so red? His blue couch shouldn't be all splotchy like that. And his creamy beige carpet- why was it so dark and speckled? Mary prided herself on everything always being neat. So what was with all this red mess all over the living room? The red that stained the curtains, couch, chairs, carpet, that was splattered all over the TV and family photos.

"Wally?" she asked, a slight note of panic in her voice. A biology experiment gone wrong? She couldn't quite think straight. Everything seemed to have slowed to a crawl. She looked around the room, looking for any clues. She was searching behind the couch when she saw a pattern in the red, seemingly leading into the next room. She walked along it carefully, feeling vaguely puzzled as she saw how much it was. She went up the stairs, and looked around the cream-colored hallway, walls dotted with pictures of a smiling family. But there too were streaks of red and more of it on the floor leading into the bathroom. She cautiously walked up to the door. Her heart was pounding in her throat.

"W-Wally?" she asked in a small voice. When she didn't get an answer she took a deep breath and pushed open the door.

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**AN: Please Review so I can show my beta reader and be like "SEE THEYRE GOING TO KILL ME IF I DON'T UPDATE SOON!"**


	9. Secrets Part 3

**AN: So I changed this story to M because of well...the dark themes of this little story thing. Let me know if you want a lighter chapter after this or the next part. I think theres gonna be like one or two more chapter of this story.**

**Disclaimer:Nottin'**

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Taking in the room in front of her, she wasn't sure whether she was going to puke or scream. Unable to move or turn away, she could only stare, wide-eyed, as the churning horror built inside her stomach. It was Wally, sort of. She almost didn't recognize him. His face was the sick grey of a corpse and was frozen in a wild twist of pain and fear. One of his arms was bent at a bewildering angle. For the first time in his life he was completely still. No fidgeting, no breathing, nothing.

Numb, she took a hesitant step forward and her bare foot landed in something cold and wet. She looked down and saw her reflection in a pool of slick, bright red liquid. There it was again, all that red. Wally was covered in it. The red was matted in his hair, was coming out of what looked like a wound above his eyebrow, nearly covered that half of his face, and made a trail from his mouth down to his jaw. His shirt was soaked through with it. It was all over the room and all over him, and even seemed- it seemed to be coming out… of… him.

Her brain finally caught up with her and told her what she had not wanted to believe.

Blood.

It was blood that was covering him. Blood was coming from the gash on his head. Blood was all over the living room and hallway and bathroom. There was just so much blood.

Too much blood.

She let out a strangled gasp and was by his side in a second. She pressed her fingers against the side of his neck and checked for a pulse. There wasn't any, at least none she could find. Something jerked sickenly in the pit of her stomach. She let out a half-choked sob before letting her training take over. She started performing CPR. Chest compressions to manually circulate blood. One, two. While she worked she assessed the depth of the visible injuries and considered whether she could rig up a defibrillator quickly enough to restart his heart. She knew if he could just get a heartbeat going he'd begin to heal quickly, just as he always did. Why had she forgotten her cell phone at home today of all days?

"Come on, Wally!" she was panicked now and pushing down on his chest as hard as she could. Her mind was betraying her. Usually she could put herself in autopilot at times like this, but not now. Not with that twisting churning ache in her abdomen. Not with the sights and smells of death pressing in on her. It was suffocating. She was quite certain her lungs and even her own heart were broken, because nobody's pulse or breaths should be so loud. They were echoing off the tile. She forced herself into autopilot again.

Between chest compressions she worked. Press. Open the cabinet. Press. Take out the hairdryer. Press. Break the hairdryer open. Press. Twist the wires in the circuits. Press. Tear the cord in half. Press. Arrange the twisted wires on his chest, one coil of wire on each side of his heart. Press. Time to plug it in. She took a deep breath and wondered for a moment whether she ought to be praying or something.

No time. She plugged it in and briefly touched the two halves of the cord together.

Zap.

His body twitched. She checked for a pulse. No good. Again.

Zap. Twitch. Zap. Twitch.

She pressed her fingers against his chest and held her breath. Yes. YES. Movement, faint but discernable. He had a pulse. She exhaled in a relief as big as the ocean. His heart was beating. He was going to be ok.

She un-tucked her shirt from her skirt and lifted it over her head. Then she ripped the fabric into strips. She tore off his shirt- no bloody wounds there, thankfully- and started wrapping the gash in his head before moving to the ones on his arms, wincing in spite of herself at the bruises all over his chest and his obviously broken arm. She wrapped two toothbrushes against his arm to serve as a makeshift splint.

When she had finished taking care of his visible injuries she did her best to pull him upright. If it wasn't for her adrenaline she doubted she would have been able to lift him at all. But something wasn't right. It shouldn't be this difficult. A feeling of dread began to stir in the bottom of her stomach. She looked down and nearly dropped Wally from his leaning position against her side.

His legs. His legs were broken. Both of them. Rudolf broke Wally's legs. How was that even possible? The beginnings of tears blurred Babs' vision as she pulled Wally up over her shoulders into a fireman's carry. She took the stairs slowly, step by step, wobbling a bit. Her lower back hurt and seemed to be cramping up. He was heavy.

She finally reached the front hallway, snatched the keys to the West family Subaru off the table, and lugged Wally out the door. Leaving the front door wide open she carried him to the car. Opening the car door was a struggle. Once she got it open she laid Wally out across the back seat and made sure he was stable before closing the door and getting into the driver's side. She turned the key in the ignition after missing it a couple times- her hands were shaking badly- and ripped out of the driveway like a bat out of hell.

Not caring about paltry concerns like speed limits or traffic laws, Babs sped through the suburbs of Central City, vaguely aware of cars pulling to the side to let her pass. Looking back on it later she thought it quite remarkable that nobody was killed. She only had one thing on her mind: getting Wally to the Zeta Tube as soon as possible, preferably alive. Other considerations could wait.

How she got him out of the car and into the Zeta Tube she would never know. When she saw the familiar Zeta entrance area of the cave she collapsed and started screaming hysterically.

"HELP! SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP! HEEELLPPP!" she screamed again and again. By the time Batman and Black Canary came running and took command of the situation, she was numb. The medical team pulled Wally out of her arms and strapped him to a stretcher, plunging IVs into his arms and checking his vitals. Batman briefly acknowledged her, giving her a pair of dark sunglasses then left. Black Canary and Batman were some distance away with a communicator, talking fast. Nobody paid her any mind. She stood and followed the stretcher like a ghost.

Her heart was empty. When the stretcher disappeared behind the doors of the operating room she didn't know what to do. Wally was in good hands now. She supposed she should sit down and wait for him to come out.

Wally had almost died. It had finally hit her. She had almost lost him. The thought crushed the breath out of her. She had almost lost her best friend in the world. She staggered sideways and leaned against the wallpaper next to the operating room door. Her body ached. She slid down the wall as with a sudden rush of breath she began to cry. Really cry. She ended up in a heap on the floor outside medical bay, crying like there was no tomorrow.

And that's how the team found her nearly an hour later when they had returned from their mission: hair and clothes torn, fetal position, covered in blood. They passed her while exchanging their usual weary, good-natured banter on their way back from the zeta tubes. She must have been a sight.

"Batgirl!" M'gann exclaimed.

"Batgirl, what's wrong?"

"What happened?"

"Is that blood?"

"Oh my god!"

She heard them all on some level, but they sounded like they were miles away. Unable to bring herself to understand and respond, she chose to cover her ears and shake her head.

"Team!" she heard Bruce's voice as if she were underwater. She vaguely heard him telling what had happen, and then the awful silence that followed. She vaguely heard Artemis' sobs and M'gann's screams. Oh, the horror. Everything sounded distorted. A tear slid down her cheek when he mentioned Wally's broken legs. Bruce did not fail to notice.

"You should change," he said gently. She shook her head.

"I'm not leaving- I can't- not until he gets out," she said.

"You know that he might not wake up for days, weeks even. You need to go change," he persisted and tossed a duffle bag into her lap.

She sighed. He was right, of course. She stood unsteadily, leaning against the wall. Once she was steady on her feet she was off to the bathroom, leaving the awestruck team in her wake.

She shut the door firmly behind her and turned on the shower. She wanted Wally's blood off of her before she thought about anything else. She peeled off her tank top, which was sticking to her skin from the blood soaked through it, then awkwardly shimmied out of her skirt. She looked at her reflection and cringed. Blotchy skin, wild eyes, blood caked into her hair- Batgirl did not look her best after a hellish day like the one she had just survived. She sighed as she unclasped her bra and let it fall to the floor. She slid off her panties as the steam started to fill the room.

She was about to get in the shower when she noticed something. How in the hell had the blood soaked through all the way to her panties? She looked at it closer and realized it was her blood. Was she getting her period? While pregnant? What the hell?

Suddenly she understood the pain that had been concentrated in her abdomen all day. She gasped and her hand flew to her stomach.

"No," she said aloud, as if that would help. "No. No, little one. Please no. I want to keep you. Please stay with me."

Another cramp made her double over in pain. She grabbed the counter for support and looked with loathing at her reflection. First she had messed up with her father, then she went out drinking and got herself raped, then through her inaction she nearly let Wally get killed, and now apparently she had even screwed up motherhood. She was so pathetic her own baby would rather die than be with her.

"Please don't go," she pleaded as the mirror fogged up and the merciless pains in her stomach began to come closer together. "Please don't go."

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**AN: What is this happiness you speak of and how does it work? Please review and tell me if you want the next part or a lighter chapter to break up the little agnst party i have going on!**


	10. Secrets Part 4

**AN: Sorry! Sorry! Sorry ! I know it's been forever since I last updated but uhh here? There will be more coming soon! I promise. I think there will only be one more chapter to this little story inside a story. I was thinking about doing a chapter of Babs's rape. Like what went down durring it. Nothing too graphic but yeah. Welp here's the next chapter...if anyone is actually putting up with waiting anymore...**

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It took Wally two weeks to wake up. During that time, Batgirl had not uttered a word. She and Artemis had an unspoken agreement that they would switch off sleeping in Wally's bed and sleeping in the med bay. When Artemis came to get her from Wally's bedside, she would stand quietly and leave. There would be toast and orange juice. She would shower. Then she would go back to the waiting room. Time would pass. She would sit still and stare blankly into space until a nurse gently ushered a red-eyed Artemis out of the room and told Batgirl it was her turn again.

Looking down on him, she took stock of his appearance. Her finely tuned observational skills were put to good use these days. The bruises were fading. They had changed the bandages again. His breath rose and fell. The monitors beeped at approximately the same rate they had when she left. Blood pressure steady, skin pale and slightly mottled. His eyes did not stir beneath their lids. No change. She settled down in her chair and waited. The machines beeped quietly and she slid back into the dark of her own mind.

It was lonely, the waiting. Empty. People came and went but they were ghosts and did not acknowledge her. Her body had been sore before, from the panic and adrenaline and recklessness when she brought him in, but that had faded. It did not feel like healing so much as numbness in her limbs. At times she was self-consciously aware that what she was doing was odd, wrong, and wasn't there something else she might be doing instead? Her hands twitched. She blinked at the lights, the grit on the floor, trying to think. Something to do. A boy to avenge. An almost-baby to bury. But she had started this waiting and it felt like a duty now.

After a while a nurse came to send her away again.

Artemis was the first one in Wally's arms when he woke up and she reacted just like a girlfriend should. Kissing him with reckless abandon. Crying. Threatening to kill him if he ever scared her like that again. He laughed and said he knew she would and she kissed him again. It was sweet, just like a movie.

By the time she had calmed down the team came in and went through how happy they were that Wally was awake and how they'd missed him and just couldn't understand how it had happened. Then the guys said gleefully that now he was awake they could go kick the ass of whoever had done it to him. He kept the grin on even through all that but Babs could have sworn M'Gann looked thoughtful.

She herself was in the doorway, still quiet. There wasn't really a place carved out for her. When your best friend is a guy it is usually better not to make it too obvious how much he means to you. People get a bit uncomfortable even if they should know better. She still hadn't told anyone the whole story. The team knew more or less what had happened, with her finding him and performing CPR and getting him here alive- hell, they would probably have celebrated her as a hero if she hadn't been such a wreck since she got back- but they had no idea about who had hurt him or why. Missions must have been intense lately. She figured Batman and Barry knew what had happened, because somewhere in the fog she'd been in lately she thought she'd heard them talking about Wally's stuff getting moved into Barry's house.

Suddenly he looked up past the others and saw her. His eyes were a question: did you bring me here? She nodded. Whoa, he mouthed, and grinned at her.

She tried to smile back.

She really, really did.

But she couldn't. She ended up with a quivering lip and blurry vision instead. She heard Wally utter a small "Oh my God." He knew. Well, at least this way she wouldn't have to tell him.

"Can you give us a moment?" Wally asked, still staring. The team looked at her and seemed to come to the conclusion he wanted to thank her for saving him and filed out. Artemis gave him one more very slow kiss and walked out as well.

Babs hesitated. He lifted his arms, like a child asking for a hug. At that she lost it. She finally let the tears fall and ran over to Wally, letting him hold her as sobs wracked her body.

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**AN: *Looks around nervously* I hope you liked it! Please review and tell me what you think of the story and the idea of Babs's chapter!**


	11. Secrets Part 5

**AN: Welp, this is the last part in Secrets. I hope you like it. I'll probably do the Babs chapter a little later but I think a few light hearted chapters are in order.**

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"I know you're there," Batgirl said. She was sitting on the island in the kitchen eating extra-crunchy peanut butter out of the jar. The Dark Knight sighed and walked into the light.

"Are you going to tell them?" she asked, not looking at him. She instead decided to look at the clock on the stove. 3:17 AM.

"Does he want me to tell them?" he shot back, raising an eyebrow. She sighed and slowly shifted around to look at him. Her red puffy eyes with deep purple bags didn't surprise him. Her sunglasses were propped on her head.

"I disabled the cameras. The shades were giving me a headache," she explained, rubbing her eyes with the heels of her hands. "Will he be able to fight? I mean- will you let him? Because he's been doing a damn good job! And just because everyone found out doesn't mean anything changes."

She took another spoonful of peanut butter and shoved it into her mouth. She chewed slowly, trying to figure out what to say next. He waited.

"You should tell them. I don't- um, I don't think I would be able to." she said and swallowed hard. Batman nodded. She sighed and relaxed a little, looking away again.

"He's going to be fine," he assured her gruffly.

"I just don't want people to treat him differently. I mean, imagine if they treated him like a- a china doll, you know, like 'poor kid'. He'd go insane."

There was a pause. She could hear the clock in the hallway.

"I'm sorry, Barbara. You would have been a great mother." She whipped around but he had already disappeared into the shadows. She hopped down off the counter with half a mind to call him back and demand that he take responsibility for the bomb he'd just dropped in her lap, but as soon as she felt the cold shock of her bare feet on the tile the fight went out of her and she stumbled. The kitchen was so terribly cold. She smacked her fist down on the counter (once, twice) and tried not to think.

* * *

"I'm keeping it."

Wally dropped his pen and shot his head up to look at her. "What?"

"The baby. I'm keeping it," she said evenly. Wally sighed and rubbed his temples.

"Babs, you need to really think about this. You have your whole life to consider," he tried to reason with her.

"I know that. I also know I have another life to consider."

"What made you decide this?" he asked, searching her eyes. Babs sighed and turned around to stare off into space.

"It's just… I would rather people believe what they may."

Wally raised an eyebrow. "Care to elaborate?"

"I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'd rather be judged as a whore then pitied as a poor girl who got raped."

"You're not a- a whore. Christ, Babs, don't even say that. Tossing that word around- blaming yourself- he took advantage of your trust and that's- you're just looking at it all wrong-"

"LOOKING at it wrong? Sure. Whatever, man," she spat. "You know, I am really sick and tired of people telling me how to feel. Always well-meaning, almost always men, and it's really a pain in the ass."

"Sorry! I'm sorry. I'm just worried about you."

"I know," she leaned toward him and he wrapped an arm around her. "You're my best friend. It's your job to worry. I shouldn't have snapped at you."

"I think you have enough on your plate just now to excuse a bit of a short temper."

She laughed. "Well, so do you. You ever think things are just so tragic it's funny?"

"All the damn time."

"Story of our lives, practically."

"I wish you'd let me kick that bastard's ass."

"I can fight my own battles, West."

"Can you?"

"Yes! And I'm still keeping the kid. I want to take responsibility-" He threw up his hands in exasperation. "-And I want something good to come out of this mess. You can agree with that if nothing else."

"It's your choice."

"Damn right it is."

* * *

The minutes of the wait while Batman finally told them all the truth out in the hall felt like hours to the two teenagers in the too-white hospital room. Batgirl sat cross-legged on the side of Wally's bed. She held his hand (the one that wasn't attached to a broken arm) in hers. His fingers trembled in hers. He was scared, his eyes half-closed, face turned a little away from her as if to hide against the pillowcase. She rubbed the back of his hand with her thumbs in slow circles, trying to comfort him.

They both tensed when they heard the gasps, soon followed by frantic footsteps toward the room. Babs gave Wally's hand one last squeeze before the rest of the team burst through the door.

M'gann had tears streaming down her face, a look of complete pity on her face. She moved toward him hesitantly and stretched out a hand, then stopped. Connor had his usual expressionless face, with a slight frown, but you could see the sorrow and pity in his eyes. Kaldur too was trying to be composed but only held sorrow in his eyes. Robin looked hurt and betrayed. You could see, even with his shades, the anger and deep pity he felt. They seemed almost afraid to approach him. Batgirl tensed, gripping his hand more tightly.

Zatanna walked in last, supporting Artemis, who was clinging to her teammate and dragging her feet, looking at the floor. After a moment they stopped near the foot of the bed and Artemis looked up. She was tough as ever, blinking back tears as she searched his face. He looked back at her for a moment before shutting his eyes.

"Who are you?" she murmured.

"I'm sorry."

"I'm not- I don't-" suddenly she rushed forward and kissed him, very gently, on the mouth. "I just love you, ok?"

He opened his eyes and smiled a tiny bit. "Ok."

"We're… so sorry," Dick was grasping for words. "So sorry. I don't know what to say."

"I don't understand how this could have happened to you," Kaldur mused.

"You poor thing."

Wally's face went white. That was exactly what he'd feared they would do. Pity and horror were written all over their faces. She knew he felt he was being written off as another victim, an innocent civilian caught in a situation that was bigger than he was able deal with. That really did not sit well with the sort of person who was used to being the hero. Babs tensed her jaw a bit. She knew that mindset because she had lived it.

"I just… wish you'd told us. We could have helped you," Dick added.

Zatanna shushed them and spoke slowly. "We understand. These things are very hard."

"Will you still be part of the team?" Connor was ever practical.

"He needs rest! All of that can wait," she scolded.

"Yes, of course you must rest," he agreed.

"He doesn't have to hear discussions on his place in the team."

"Just know we're all here for you while you are going through this."

Wally shut his eyes again. Babs knew this conversation wasn't going anywhere and decided to take matters into her own hands.

"Hey guys, think we could leave these two alone for a bit? I'm sure they have a lot to talk about."

It was a loaded statement and she knew it. They had little choice but to leave. She shooed them all into the hall with some vague mention of seeing the couple later and shut the door behind them. As soon as she felt they were far enough down the hallway she took a calming breath and began.

"Just what did you think you were doing in there?"

"Comforting our friend," M'Gann replied without hesitation.

"Yes, I believe you thought so," Batgirl said gently. She decided to try a different tactic. "Guys, you need to stop this."

"Stop what?" Kaldur asked politely.

"The way you're treating him. He's still the same guy he has been and it doesn't help anything if you start to look at him differently because of what he's going through."

The others looked thoughtful.

"He's still a hero. The fear of everybody suddenly thinking of him as- breakable? Fragile, weak, whatever- is exactly why he never told anyone until now. I know you're trying to be sympathetic but he's pretty sensitive about it."

Zatanna nodded. "I can see that."

"Yes, Wally's dad, he…" She pinched the bridge of her nose and took a deep breath. "abused him. And yes, he didn't tell any of you. But the worst thing any of you could do would be to start treating him like a fragile doll. This isn't exactly a new development. Wally has been an amazing hero, an undistracted and devoted hero, since he has started with our team. So please try not to think that just because you just found out about it Wally's some different person. He's the same guy, just with a few more battle scars than you knew about."

"More than WE knew about," Connor said.

"Excuse me?"

"He's right," Robin added. "You knew, didn't you?"

"Yes, I did."

"And you didn't tell anyone?" he said coldly. "That was a pretty rotten thing to do."

"How could you let that happen to him?" M'gann asked in a small voice.

"That was… not a wise decision," Kaldur added.

"I tried- he didn't want-"

"He didn't want to tell anyone, so you gave up and abandoned him to deal with that monster alone."

"No! I would never-"

"We are supposed to have each other's backs," he waved down her protest impatiently. "Can we really count on you to do the right thing for the team after this? Even when it's the hard choice?"

"Yes!"

"THEN COULD YOU EXPLAIN WHY IT TOOK HIM ALMOST GETTING KILLED FOR YOU TO TELL SOMEONE THAT ONE OF OURS WAS IN TROUBLE?" he roared. Batgirl stumbled back slightly, her back hitting the door.

"Please-"

"You call yourself his friend. If you had spoken up earlier, when you should have, it never would have gotten this far," he said with growing disgust. "So what was the reasoning? Why keep it in your pocket? I WANT ANSWERS."

He was right in her face now and the others were too stunned to intervene. His temper had always been an issue, but this was different. If Babs had been running at full capacity she would have recognized the almost hysterical fear driving his outburst. He had grown accustomed to the deaths of heroes in the line of duty, but the force that had driven Wally to the brink of death was a wholly different beast. He was terrified and lashing out, and she was too emotionally compromised by the situation to see it.

"You think I didn't want to tell?" she gasped.

"I have no idea what you wanted."

"I did want to! Desperately," she tried to shrink against the wall and stared at him, willing him to understand. "I would have, should have. But I couldn't! It wasn't some… power trip, or whatever it is you are thinking. I really couldn't."

He shifted his weight slightly, as he usually did when about to change tactics. The team was about to go into another round of questions when they heard the door open. They all looked up to see Wally, in a wheel chair pushed by Artemis, in the doorway. He glared at them.

"Seriously?" he spat. "That woman saved my life and all you can say is that she didn't do it soon enough?"

They all paused for a moment and stared at him, startled. Batgirl took the opportunity to run. She pushed through the doors at the end of the hall and disappeared.

"No, wait," Wally lifted his hand as if to stop her but to no avail. The group in the hallway seemed to be getting ready to explain themselves but he was tired and having trouble breathing. He shook his head at the rest of them and let Artemis roll him back into his room.

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**AN: Well there it is. I know it was kind of open ended with the team's reaction and Babs but like I said I'll adress that later. Please review and tell me any ideas you want to see worked into a story or one-shot!**


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